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 This week has been a bad week. Mostly bad in an emotional way, I guess you can say? Just very stressed out, frustrated, angry, upset...everything at once. I have been trying to put it in the back of my mind, but sometimes it just doesn't work. Hopefully tomorrow I could distract myself doing homework and getting stuff done.
I finish university on May 21. I'm excited yet scared at the same time. We graduate in June, and then I would have to do the stuff so that I could go take the nursing exam. I hope that I will pass that test in one shot. I don't want to fail it. I just want to get ahead and move on with life. Finish school, get my license, get a job. Yet I am terrified and I am not sure why. I just need to relax, that's all. Relax and think positive things. I will do this. I can do this. I will be a somebody in the future. I will make my parents proud...and also myself.
I started working out on Tuesday again. It took me a long time to give myself that push. I need to lose weight again and get somewhere. I was down to 220 pounds yet I'm back to 236. I know most of it is because of stress eating and feeling like hell (thank you depression) but I have also slacked off. So hopefully I will lose weight and feel better. I also want to look better, but it's not for anyone else, only myself. I have never been happy with my looks. I guess the only thing I really like about myself are my eyes. Other than that I despise myself...everything. 
Still thinking about what to do with my relationship. I feel like it's not working out anymore. I don't feel the same way anymore. What's the point of trying if it's not fixable?
nemesais: (Default)
 Today officially starts my 1 week of Spring Break. Which isn't really a vacation since I have to finish a project for class. It's fine with me, it's not like I do much anyways. I'm not one to go out and hang out with people, or go to parties and get stupid drunk (I don't even drink btw). I'd rather stay home reading, watching movies or shows, playing games...sleeping. Sleeping is always nice.
I talked to my boyfriend's mom today. I was worried since I haven't heard from him in a while. Apparently they were given permission to make calls since they passed their midterms. They were only able to talk for 5 minutes though. I guess he's okay. He asked her to call me and let me know. So this is their 5th week, they complete training in about 3 weeks. I hope he passes. He has gone through a lot with this.
Nothing interesting has really happened. Just bored as usual. Been playing some Rift since I got bored of Guild Wars 2. That's something that bugs me about myself. I tend to get bored easily of stuff. But yeah. Now with this time off, hopefully I can catch up on finishing reading some books and watching some tv shows. Also, goal is to complete this project and just get it over with. I want to do well this last semester, so I am giving it my all.
I really need my laptop. I'm probably going to end up buying a new one or something because it's ridiculous. I have no money coming in, so it's making it even more difficult. I can't wait until I graduate, get my license and get my ass to work. I will have sweet money coming in for myself and to help out dad. I also need to buy my contact lenses...argh. So many things.
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 I have been extremely stressed out with classes. It's not really the class itself, but more like the university because they are the most unorganized institution I have ever studied in. I am not planning to go to the graduation, yet got stuck paying $85 because according to them "I am paying for my diploma." What the hell is that answer anyways? They couldn't even explain in details why I had to pay it. 
Now, there is this nursing ceremony called "capping (initiation)" and the director of the department is like "You don't have to pay for the ceremony, however here are the prices for the uniform kit you need." I look at the paper she gives us and the kit is $135 wonder they didn't bother to charge the ceremony. Needless to say, I will not be attending that ceremony either. I am not in a financial position to spend that much money on another uniform that will be stuck in my closet for years to come. No. Fuck that.
This university is a joke. I will NEVER attend any of the universities that have to do with the Ana G. Mendez system. Ever. They are unorganized and a bunch of thieves. They can't even hide that fact. I regret not doing my Bachelor's at Unitec like I had done with my Associate's. At least I fucking learned stuff and they paid for my uniforms...
So many things I can rant about this place...really. Like the fact that our professor was supposed to evaluate us in lab on Tuesday for washing our hands and venipuncture procedure. But no, she was instead talking to the students and had another student watch us do it and tell her how we did. What the fucking hell is that?! In Unitec my professors were on top of us during these evaluation we actually knew if we did it right or wrong, needed more practice, what could we fix...but yeah, I guess that's how it's done here....
I can't wait until I graduate in June. I want out.


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