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 So um, I had a bad day. It all started over a lousy cable and dad kicking my bunny's cage with my bunny inside. I mean, I know it's annoying when the rabbit eats through the cables, but it's not like they know better. There was absolutely no reason to do what he did. It is disgusting. He doesn't care about anything but himself. If I did that to his fish, I would have been dead. But yeah, whatever. I'm just so done. I just decided to not listen to whatever he was saying. It makes things easier.
 
I worked out my anger on the treadmill. I didn't even bother speaking to him. There's a lot of stuff that I will never forgive him for. This was just another one to that list.
 
Anyways, on Thursday my friend is going to cut my hair. I wanted to let it grow longer but I just can't take it. I want a change. I want to just wash my hair and not worry about fixing it. Or just picking it up in a ponytail and move on. I can also manage it easier when I want to flatiron it. 
 
I'm supposed to get my new keyboard tomorrow for the laptop. I hope that fixes the issues that it's having, if not, well fuck. But I'm hoping for the best. Also, my Tokyo Ghoul wallscroll is supposed to arrive tomorrow as well...hopefully.
 
Well, I should take a nice hot shower and pretend to go to bed and just listen to music. I just want everything to exit my thoughts. Everything negative to just leave me alone.
 
nemesais: (entoan plushie)
Today I went out with dad. We bought a few things at the hardware store. He bought me a blender! I'm so happy because I've always wanted one. Now I can make smoothies and stuff. He also got me heavy duty carpets for my SUV so the original ones don't get dirty. After that we got frozen yogurt then came home. I worked out for 30 minutes today since the previous day I had done 60 minutes. I really hope I'm making progress. I feel great about myself (emotionally and mentally). I'll be upset though if my weight hasn't changed much.

I got my laptop back but I doubt I'll be able to play Smite anymore. I need to get a better cooling pad for it. I'll buy it soon. Then when I start working I can get a better PC.

Anyways, nothing much has happened. Washed my hair and now I'm watching Investigation Discovery. They have some shows on Ted Bundy. It may sound weird, but I like stuff about true crimes. Anything to do with psychology or psychiatry are my favorite things. And paranormal subjects as well.
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Today was my graduation from UMET but I didn't go. It was at 8 am in San Juan. We had to be there at around 7:30 am which would be impossible...So instead dad took me to Sizzler's for dinner. We had the buffet plus ordered a side dish of shrimps. They were pretty good. I wish they had a wider variety in the buffet though. They always have the same menu, which gets boring. But we had a good time and we couldn't even breathe or move afterwards. I didn't really eat much to be honest. However, I had 2 large glasses of iced tea which is fine, I've been drinking plenty of water, no juice and definitely no soda. After I got home, I waited 2 hours and did 40 minutes of exercise. Feeling great.

Yesterday I got to hang out with Allison. We went to the movies to watch Insidious Chapter 3. It was a cool movie with plenty of jump scares and disturbing images. I never watched Insidious Chapter 2, so I have to see that one soon. I really want to go see Jurassic World. I hope it's a good one. Also can't wait to see Sinister 2. Now that movie is amazing.
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 This week has been a bad week. Mostly bad in an emotional way, I guess you can say? Just very stressed out, frustrated, angry, upset...everything at once. I have been trying to put it in the back of my mind, but sometimes it just doesn't work. Hopefully tomorrow I could distract myself doing homework and getting stuff done.
 
I finish university on May 21. I'm excited yet scared at the same time. We graduate in June, and then I would have to do the stuff so that I could go take the nursing exam. I hope that I will pass that test in one shot. I don't want to fail it. I just want to get ahead and move on with life. Finish school, get my license, get a job. Yet I am terrified and I am not sure why. I just need to relax, that's all. Relax and think positive things. I will do this. I can do this. I will be a somebody in the future. I will make my parents proud...and also myself.
 
I started working out on Tuesday again. It took me a long time to give myself that push. I need to lose weight again and get somewhere. I was down to 220 pounds yet I'm back to 236. I know most of it is because of stress eating and feeling like hell (thank you depression) but I have also slacked off. So hopefully I will lose weight and feel better. I also want to look better, but it's not for anyone else, only myself. I have never been happy with my looks. I guess the only thing I really like about myself are my eyes. Other than that I despise myself...everything. 
 
Still thinking about what to do with my relationship. I feel like it's not working out anymore. I don't feel the same way anymore. What's the point of trying if it's not fixable?
 
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 Well, I finished another part for my patient case study. So far I have done the list of medications with the information and the labs which took me 3 days. There were over 50 labs I had to write about. Tomorrow I'll work on the easier part which is the information about the medical diagnose. It's about CVA (stroke). Kind of chokes me up since mom suffered two of those and well...*sighs* I hate walking into the hospital because it reminds me of her. It was where she passed away, so it's hard for me to even go there. 
 
I played some more Rift today. Got to level 20 on a battle cleric (druid/shaman/inquisitor). It's getting a little slow to level up but luckily there's plenty to do in that game. Especially the Rift events which give stuff...I also like searching for artifacts to collect. Wish there was a way to tell where they're located at. I did find a lot of them. Like 4 in one spot. So that was awesome. Wish I had somebody to play with though...
 
Saw a movie today on Amazon Prime called The Ouija Experiment. It was the most horrible movie ever. It's "found footage" with terrible acting. It had a decent storyline but the bad acting ruined it. It would have had potential if the acting was a little better. One of the actresses was just annoying and yeah. It was just a dumb movie. More comedy than horror to be honest.
 
Maybe I'll finish watching Death Note tonight. Or just listen to music. Or read. By the way, I cannot finish Prince Lestat for the life of me. It just got ridiculous with all of the Apple product promoting and the dragging on of weird storylines. I'll finish it eventually just like Blackwood Farm which took me ages to read.

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nemesais

July 2015

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