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Today was my graduation from UMET but I didn't go. It was at 8 am in San Juan. We had to be there at around 7:30 am which would be impossible...So instead dad took me to Sizzler's for dinner. We had the buffet plus ordered a side dish of shrimps. They were pretty good. I wish they had a wider variety in the buffet though. They always have the same menu, which gets boring. But we had a good time and we couldn't even breathe or move afterwards. I didn't really eat much to be honest. However, I had 2 large glasses of iced tea which is fine, I've been drinking plenty of water, no juice and definitely no soda. After I got home, I waited 2 hours and did 40 minutes of exercise. Feeling great.

Yesterday I got to hang out with Allison. We went to the movies to watch Insidious Chapter 3. It was a cool movie with plenty of jump scares and disturbing images. I never watched Insidious Chapter 2, so I have to see that one soon. I really want to go see Jurassic World. I hope it's a good one. Also can't wait to see Sinister 2. Now that movie is amazing.
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 Thankfully, last night I was able to rest well. I did wake up early but stayed in bed because of laziness. When I finally decided to get up, it was about 12  pm. I had some Pillsbury pancakes then took a cold shower, which didn't really help much. It's been so hot and humid these days. Even now that it's 10 pm it's hot and I'm just all sweaty. I wish I could stay in the shower.
 
I did 40 minutes of exercise today on the treadmill. Plus I did 40 situps since they seem to be helping. Also lifted some weights for arm toning. I felt great afterwards even though I did feel kind of tired today. Could be the weather and just because Sundays are boring in general.
 
Haven't done much today. I did paint my nails purple tonight. I also filed them down since they were too long. I'll go to bed soon...not really tired but I want to get some rest.
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Today I woke up feeling like hell because last night I was so hyper and couldn't sleep. I think I feel asleep at around 4 am and only because I forced myself. I got up at 12 pm and ate some tortillas with cheese, then had an applesauce for a snack. For lunch I had some cereal. I did 30 minutes of exercise on the treadmill. I wanted to do more but I was very exhausted and decided not to push myself. However, I did exercise for 50 minutes yesterday so it's fine to me. Hopefully tonight I could get better rest and do 40-50 minutes exercise tomorrow.

I have been feeling better than ever. I am happier, positive, stronger. I am not stressed out or constantly negative anymore. Being with that person did me more harm than good. I am glad that I decided to move on and work on focusing on myself. I have opened my eyes and my heart. I have learned to accept myself and my past events. I feel at peace with myself. I no longer need to put up with negativity. I will keep thinking only positive thoughts no matter how difficult the situation may be. I will not let myself fall once again. My mistake was depending on the wrong person in order to find happiness. I just ended up losing myself to someone who walked all over me. Nobody should ever make others feel bad just to make themselves feel superior and good about them.

I now smile more often. I laugh more. I no longer cry myself to sleep. I no longer feel that I have to change to please others. I am slowly picking up the pieces and putting my life together again. I have finished my Bachelor's degree in nursing with cum laud. Soon I will take the nursing state test (dunno how it's called?) and eventually find a job. I cannot wait to move on and find a better future.

I now find things to focus on to distract my mind. I have been watching anime (something I never did before), crocheting, reading more often, exercising, cooking, etc. So far it has been working fine. I love who I have become. Thank you mom for giving me strength.

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nemesais

July 2015

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