Jun. 4th, 2015

nemesais: (Default)
I haven't update in a while, have I? Well, I have some nice things to say I suppose.

First off, I have finally finished my bachelor's degree in nursing. I'll graduate on June 12 with cum laud. This makes me feel happy and this is for you mom. I know you're proud of me just like dad is. I won't go to the graduation because it's at 8 in the morning and very far away. I don't plan on waking up at around 5 am to get ready and drive like a maniac over there. Instead I asked dad to take me to dinner and spend the day with me.

Secondly, I am single. I'll talk about it because it's my blog and I have every right to express myself whether you consider it to be positive or negative. I don't give a damn. It's my page and I write what I want and however I want. I want people to know my side of the story not what that certain person has made them believe. Depression? It's normal for a person who has a lost a parent. It's something that doesn't simply go away and you just "move on" from. It took me a damn while to finally accept everything and move on. Slowly picking up the pieces and getting by day-by-day.

I'm sorry YOU couldn't understand that and decided it was cool to not be there for me and make everyone think that I am some kind of crazy person who is probably going to meltdown and kill everyone. No. I did have a meltdown because of stress from classes which piled on me. But I am much better now. I am stronger. I am positive and i don't need your negativity to bring me down. I am doing much better without you. I don't need you. You're a toxic person who likes to make people feel bad just to make yourself feel superior. You use a person's weakness against them. You're nothing but a lazy bum.

When you told me that all of your exes were psychopaths, I should have taken that as a red flag. Instead I ignored it. When your mother told me that you were lazy, that didn't like doing stuff for others, that she was amazed that I put up with you for so long, I should have taken that as a big ass red flag and got rid of you. But no, I stayed like an idiot. The reason why I felt so down was because of you. You, the one who thinks you're better than everyone and smarter than anyone else. You, the narcissistic selfish person that only cares about what they want. I am glad that I got rid of you. I was tired of your bullshit.

Do you know what it's like to go out with someone and instead of having a nice conversation they're just playing on their phone constantly? What the hell is that? That is rude. When you go out with someone, you leave your phone alone. Your friends can wait. Facebook can wait. Reddit can wait. I never pulled my phone out when I was with you. In fact, I always put it on vibrate. You however, what nerves. Complete rudeness.

Also, all you ever did was talk about stuff you liked. You never bothered to listen to what I talked about. All you wanted to talk about was games, computers, phones, cameras. That's cool. I enjoyed the conversations but then it was a constant thing and it got pretty fucking annoying. And your obsession with Apple...about how Apple sucks and the people who use Apple products are all idiots. Come on, it made you sound like a very envious person. Also, that was just you. You want what everyone else has. You want better stuff. You're never going to live a happy life that way. You, the person who doesn't understand how relationships work. It's not one-sided. It's not only about sex. Actually, it sucks when you aim to only please yourself in everything and forget about the other person.

The reason I was always down and upset? You. Thanks to you for walking all over me. When I expressed myself, told you I felt upset because of mom, you brushed it off as "it'll be okay, just move on" without any interest whatsoever. I could tell you didn't care so I just kept it inside. But now, I understand what a piece of crap you were. You deceive others well. I wish they knew the real you.

I am much happier now and all it took was to be with the wrong person. I now remember why I preferred to be alone. I am doing much better by myself to be honest. I am working on making myself happy and I feel 100% better about myself. I smile more. I have motivation to do stuff for myself. Wasn't happening with you, sorry.

Oh, by the way, getting mad because I went out with a friend I haven't seen in forever to Comic Con and had fun was very childish of you. You actually stopped talking to me since that day and then magically appeared and texted me about how it wasn't working out. Guess you're not the type to speak to a person face-to-face. Why? Oh yeah, you hide behind your phone or PC. Good going.

I don't wish you wrong, however. I wish you the best and hope that you will open your eyes and realize what an asshole you are. I hope you decide to change. I hope you learn how to maintain a relationship and be there for the person you claim to love. And don't come back, ever. I would rather not have you in my life at all. Not even as a friend. I guess you'll just add me to your list of "psychopath girlfriends" because that's just you.

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nemesais

July 2015

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